So I keep running into the same thing: nice people. No, scratch that, loving people. Forgiving people. Caring people. People, people, people that I'm not. I'm a nice person- (is that bad of me to say?). I try not to be hurtful and mean- and face to face, I'm not. (at least I pray I'm not!) But the thing is, I've been noticing other people and how they treat me. Some people really pour out their heart and I can tell in their eyes when they talk to me, they're not just saying anything rehearsed. They're genuine. What they say, is truly what they think. And if they think bad of anything (or anyone!) they simply don't say it. And that's my problem. Sure I say nice things to people- I make sure I'm smiling and cheerful around everyone, (dis- including family. I admit I don't wake up every morning and say, "hey brother, you're hogging the bathroom, but that's okay- I love you!"). I need to learn to be genuine- genuinely loving, or genuinely caring, or genuinely happy. I need to make sure that when I forgive people, I'm not just saying words. Because when you forgive someone, your not just letting them, know they're forgiven- you're also letting your heart know. And right now my heart has some bitter things still stuck in it. Okay so know I feel like I'm rambling. But basically what I want is a true [loving] heart- so what I need is prayer. The changes that have to take place in me are only things God can fix.
"Love must be sincere..." Romans 12:9
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