Oedipus the King has died. Along with the Book.

Done, done, done, donnnneeee! I have finished the summer homework for English! On the topic of summer homework, I, as usual have an opinion about it~ I mean, we bust our brains open ALL school year working non- stop, through all hours of the night (especially if you procrastinate. I know this) and then finally! Wa- la! Summer vacation! But then what happens? BAM. Summer Assignments. They might as well call it sorrry-us-teachers-were-jealous-that-you-get-a-whole-nice-relaxing-summer-without-the-worry-of-paying-bills-or-grocery-shopping-so-we're-going-to-dump-a-load-of-icky-work-so-when-you-come-back-to-school-your-brain-will-be-freshly-warped. But I guess I can't worry about it, cause I'm done~ (with english, that is. Still got math + french. Boo.)  But annnyyywwaayys, back on the real topic of discussion: Oedipus. I thought, since he is such a pitiful man, I'll dedicate this blog post to him. Not that he deserves is, (Killing his Dad, poppin' out babies with his Mom? Yeah. that's him.) There's not much to say about this fellow. So I guess I'll just tell ya the whole darn book! (In a simplified version, of course! ;) )

The Simplified Version of Oedipus, the Lousy King.

Once there was a man named Oedipus. He was royal. His mom and dad were the King and Queen of a little city. However, his Momma and Pappa didn't want him so they tied his feet together and threw him down a hill. Well, a shepard found him and took pity on his gross little face. He undid the binding on his feet, and when he did his feet swelled up like over pumped water balloons. He then was named Oedipus, meaning swollenfoot. The shepard didn't want him either, (he must have been cranky) and passed him on to a young couple who couldn't have kids. Oedipus loved his new parents very much until one day one of his relatives called him- pard my language- a bastard. This ticked him off, and he ran away, unknowingly, to his original city of birth- where his real parents, the King and Queen ruled. Now, when he was a kid the oracles told him he would kill his father, but he ignored them cause he never thought that it would happen- but it did. On his way to the new city, the King (his real dad) went by in his carriage. For some reason Oedipus killed everyone in the carriage (anger issues?) and continued on. When he got to the new city, he was made king. And yes, married his original mother. He had a ton of kids with her- his mom/wife/lover. However the city he was ruling was in trouble 'cause there was so much disease and poverty. The gods said the only way this could be fixed is if the murderer of the King before Oedipus wasa banished. So, Oedipus with a lot of air in his head, cursed every night before going to bed with his mom/wife/lover, the man who murdered the king, and tells him to leave the city, or face death- not knowing it was himself. Prophets came and tried to warn him of his foolishness- but he told them to leave. However, as more and more evidence appeared, and more memories came back- he realized he WAS the one who killed the king. The Queen- his mom/lover/wife- hung herself when she heard this, and Oedipus, so upset and in confusion and misery, took the brooches of her shoulders and jammed them in his eyes. Ouch. Basically, that's how it ends. Sad day for Oedipus.